The test verified my IUD is still being an effective little baby-prevention machine.
The past few weeks I've been almost convinced it had failed me. I thought I was the 1 in 1,000 they warn you about on the labels.
I've been experiencing classic pregnancy symptoms, you know the nausea, the extreme fatigue, irritable and moody like no other, the feeling that something is not going right with your body. I brushed it off as Egypt-sickness for over a week, then a few days ago I started peeing way more frequently and I was almost certain I had to be pregnant. Tim and I had a long talk last night about bringing another baby into the world, just in case my pregnancy-feeling instincts were spot on, and all of a sudden I began getting used to the idea of having two kids (after my emotional breakdown a few nights before where I packed a suitcase, grabbed my passport, and almost had Tim convinced I was trotting off to a European coastal town to live out my fantasy of living in a hut and fishing for my livelihood**).
Since we had ourselves all convinced, I decided the logical next step would be the oh-so-sacred pregnancy test. I picked up one for a dollar and a half from our local pharmacy (one day I'll blog about pharmacies here, they are great) and took it this morning. If I was indeed pregnant, I didn't want to waste too much time waiting around since I would need the IUD out. And getting the IUD out was worrying me too since there is a high risk of miscarriage and I wasn't confident in Egyptian OB/GYNs.
For some reason I still can't figure out, I was sure the test would be positive. But alas, negativo. The odds were right.
And you know what? Today I feel completely normal again after two weeks of bleh. Was it some weird psychological need to have another baby? Because HELLLLLOOOOO, I can barely take care of the one. Am I insane? Do I honestly want to be pregnant again? Not really. Nor do I really want another baby for a while. We like the idea of spacing out our kids quite a bit (and I read it's better for a woman's body to have at least three years to recover, though I feel I recovered in a week after the last birth). Tim actually has expressed his desire to just stop with the one. Not push our luck.
So why are we thinking baby thoughts?
** Tim, per the usual, looked at me like I was crazy and calmly played with Amir until I returned ten minutes later.
I was totally ready to do it all again about 2 hours after Jones was born. Baby hunger just likes to strike at inappropriate times.
ReplyDeletethis post could have been written by me. the exact same thing has happened to me twice since i got my iud. and both times i was SURE the test would be positive. jon is always nice and humors me and buys another pregnancy test but he knows i am going crazy too.
ReplyDeletei wonder if its because they (the babies) are starting to get so much more independent and mobile and we just subconsiously want another tiny blob to hold? we want to put at least two years between kids too but i don't really know what will end up happening.
I'm not sure it has anything to do with an IUD. I did that repeatedly in between my kids. I think once you are in the baby making state of mind (whether you are actively trying to or NOT to conceive) you know your family is not complete and you are always on alert. Especially when you really DO or really DON'T want a baby at that time. Its funny how your hormones and emotions can convince you are pregnant when you aren't. Funny though, since I have felt that I am done with baby making, I haven't had any of those issues. And this is the only time I've had an IUD. But, we our family is not done, so remember to keep us in mind if you hear of anyone looking to place a baby for adoption!
ReplyDeleteI have felt on occasion since Aidan was born that I would like another one, and then I remember morning sickness and 2 am feedings, and that brings me back into reality. Maybe the year after next. It`s normal to feel like you need to be alone too.
ReplyDeleteThis is Tim's cousin Jamen's wife, Lisa. (Just so you're not freaked out by some random person leaving a comment.) During the 3-7 days thata woman is fertile, it's normal to crave babies and think you're invincible and can handle any situation that has to do with child bearing. Emotional breakdowns are usually due to the changing hormones.
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult for men to understand that hormones can change your emotions... I've read studies that say that men have a hard time believing in many mood disorders like depression and pmss.
There's also pressure on women to reproduce and think of all the role changes or expansions due to being a woman and a mother... I mean, are we supposed to get an education and have a career and help provide financially for our family? Are we supposed to set our education and career aside for motherhood and not be prepared to provide if we need to? Are we supposed to juggle a career and motherhood/housewifery? How will each of those choices effect our husbands and children? Considering all these questions and role changes can cause a fight or flight response.
Our family used two principles: 1) no trying to get pregnant before the baby was 2 years old, and 2) we ask God if we made promises to one of our friends premortally to be their mortal parents and if so, if that friend wanted/needed to come at that time. As to all the work, yes, it's darned hard work, but if it's right, you are entitled to the grace to get through it and still do what you are supposed to do in the world. God doesn't give zero-sum propositions to women . . . only our culture tries to do that.
ReplyDeleteAsk about it. I was getting those feelings and when asked about it I got my answer in a couple of weeks later, in the most unexpected and 100% clear way.
ReplyDelete