My tumultuous friendship with benefits

Dear United States of America,

It's been a crazy 22 years. I know our relationship has been on and off lately, but we've had a lot of good times together. I thought I would just write you a little note on your birthday, but I'm afraid it might be a little bit too honest to be considered a good birthday note.

First, the things I like about you

1) You are pretty. You are full of deserts and swamps and huge mountains and lovely beaches and all sorts of national parks that are the best that I've seen in the world (although I haven't seen many).
2) You have such an interesting personality. You are made up of so many different people and backgrounds. You have a fascinating history.
3) You've done a lot of good. You have given a lot of money to people in need all over the world. You even beat the Nazis.

Then the things I don't like

1) You're kind of arrogant. Most countries are, but with so much going for you, I think you could do without an overblown ego. Admit your faults.
2) Along with that, you think you do everything right. You could look around and try to learn from other places.
3) You worship the past. The founding fathers were good guys, but they weren't demigods. They did not make a stand against slavery, they didn't protect the natives. They were just hard working guys trying something new with a government who did a good job.

This is just a brief overview. I know writing a like/ don't like letter is lame, especially since it is so late. But your pretty busy and wont read it anyway. Just know that I think your great. I just think you have a lot of potential to be even better.

Love,

Tim