Tuesday, October 20, 2009

New outlook

Sofia recently posted about her new outlook on vegetarianism: sparitarianism, as she called it. It means that she has a perception on what's right when it comes to eating meat, but to avoid offense she will adapt to what's going on around her (ie, other people are eating meat). Tim and I have been practicing this for a while now, as opposed to my previous life as a hardcore vegetarian who liked to flaunt my ways.

I used to be pretty black and white about parenting things. I wanted to be an attachment parent. I was going to EXCLUSIVELY breastfeed, co-sleep until Atticus was old enough to want out, baby-wear and refuse the stroller. I did not want a bucket baby, I was not going to use disposable diapers, I was not going to buy unnecessary baby items.

Then.... I had a baby. And I realized that sometimes, Atticus needs to hang out with his dad and sometimes that means he's going to need a bottle (of breast milk, of course). And sometimes? A stroller is kind of nice for when I'm sitting in class and can't hold him the whole time. And sometimes, a baby swing will lull my baby to sleep instead of me rocking him and that's ok too. And a pacifier doesn't always cause nipple confusion contrary to the scare tactics of the hospital lactation consultants. And at night when I'm really tired, the last thing I want to do is spend the extra minute to dunk a cloth diaper.

So, we're adapting our philosophies based on our experiences. There are those dogmatic attachment parenters that I thought I wanted to be like... but you know what? I'm perfectly happy finding what works for us even if I do things I never said I would do (like the time I was in the SWKT basement and Atticus was screaming and the last thing I wanted to do was whip out my breast but he was hungry and my paper was due in five minutes and I just needed to print it and I had the rest of a bottle that Tim had given him and I fed it to him instead of breastfeeding him-- the HORROR!). And I think our baby will turn out juuuuuust fine.

I will no longer judge the women in church that hide away to the mothers' lounge to breastfeed (those things are cushy!) I will not judge the woman giving her baby a bottle. I will not judge the woman who lugs in that heavy carseat for her baby in sacrament meeting. I will not judge parents that let their kids cry it out (though that's one I don't think we'll ever do!) You parents... just do your thing. This mom is not judging you.


  1. Wow, less than two months. That happened a lot quicker than I thought it would!

  2. It's crazy what having a baby does... life just changes. It did for me too. :)

  3. babies do that to you! You got to learn and grow with them! Glad things are going well!

  4. I applaud you and admire your ability to be so genuine with yourself and so open about it with other people. I imagine that adapting like this has to have been difficult for you, but it's so great that you're looking out for the best interest of your son rather than ideas you once firmly held on to.

  5. As someone who you might have judged (once I'm a mom), I appreciate it. There's no way in hell I'm doing natural birth OR cloth diapers! I'm glad that it won't come between us :)

    I am super excited to see you and Atticus tomorrow! I'm so glad you're coming.

  6. Hey Caitlin. I love you. Wow. So much.

    You are becoming an even more beautiful person. I am continually amazed by you! Man. I don't know what to say. I just want to hug you.