I was a pretty rotten teenager. Self-centered, rebellious, and an altogether brat. I try not to think about it too much because of how much I regret my life choices then, but I was lying in bed just now and there is a lot on my mind. I think mostly because my little sister is a pretty rotten teenager now, and she reminds me a lot of me at that age. And it makes me really, really sad for her because I know how lonely my life was then and I imagine that is how she feels too.
I've moved past all of that blatant rebellion, obviously (though I still have a hard time being obedient all the time). I made it to BYU, I didn't get kicked out though have been quite close on occasion, I somehow made it to the temple, I developed a relationship with my Savior. I completely changed my lifestyle from one of selfish materialism to striving for unselfish communalism, if there is such a thing. I've rejected much of my previously-held ideologies and even political philosophies. In the past few years and especially since I married Tim, I'm finally comfortable with myself and really love who I am. I love my friends, I love my family, I especially love these two handsome guys sleeping on the couch next to where I'm sitting, I love my life completely. I'm trying to embrace my faults and my strengths; I'm working on being the kind of mom a kid would want to have. I'm trying really hard to love everyone, to not hold grudges, and to see everyone the way the Savior does.
But in spite of this, I feel like I have not properly made amends for my misdeeds in the past. I don't know how to say a lot of this and don't know how reach all of these people to apologize. How does one even begin to apologize for things so far in the past that most have forgotten?