So on the fifth Sunday whenever that occurs in a month, all the male and female adults of the ward get together to be instructed by a member of the Bishopric, who lead the ward. This Sunday our Bishop talked to us about strengthening our marriages, as everyone in our ward is married. He asked us one question about ways in which we strengthen our communication.
I raised my hand and talked about the "I Love It..." game that Cait and I play where we first talk about some of the areas we think the other could improve and things that the other person does that might happen to bug us. And then we spend the rest of the time, which ends up being the majority of the time, by talking about things that we love about each other. We always do it when we are calm with no distractions and haven't been previously angered about anything. It's worked well for us, even though we don't do it as often as we used too. It's gotten to the point, I think, where we can bring up a lot of those things in regular conversation.
After I made this comment, a number of people, three I think, said that they thought that was very dangerous, saying how it could lead to bitterness. They also said that if something was bugging you about your spouse, it was probably just something that you were doing wrong and that you should change rather than saying anything to your spouse.
I think there is definitely some truth to those statements, especially the second, but I've found that sometimes the best way to confront an issue like that, say when Cait used to leave her clothes on the bathroom floor when they were dirty, head on and just discuss it and come to an agreement.
Of course, everyone has their own way of doing things, we were just wondering how everyone else handled these sort of things. Mainly this if for the married people, but it also applies to anyone who has a disagreement with another person that you are close to. So what do you think? What is the best way to communicate things that your spouse does that bothers you?