Tim and I were listening to a devotional talk given by a professor Shirley Klein in the Home and Family Living department. The talk was entitled "Protect our Homes, Renew our Powers" and I thought it especially useful since we are expanding our family, and I thusfar plan on raising our children in a gospel-centered environment. Of course, I want to protect my home. She started first talking about the typical pioneer woman and how she had to protect her home from rattlesnakes and tarantulas and then she likened this to how women today have to protect their homes from far more vicious creatures. She listed a few, and they were things like same-sex marriage, abortion, and changing roles for mothers and fathers. These are our rattlesnakes, the things we must protect our family from. Quite honestly though, I'm more worried about the effects of television or materialism on my family and children.
For one, I still cannot see how same-sex marriage will destroy my own family. After all the debate and who-ha about Prop 8 last semester, I still am adamant in my belief that legally allowing for same-sex marriage will have not undermine or devalue my marriage and family. Furthermore, I have many friends who are gay, and I plan on my children knowing and loving these people as I do. I (and I would say "we" referring to Tim as well, but these are my thoughts though we do discuss these things often) plan on teaching my children to be open-minded and I want to teach them about alternative lifestyles. I want them to understand and see how other people live, not just how one particular set of people live. As far as abortion goes, it's not a decision I will ever have to make (God-willing) nor do I hope it's a decision one of my daughters has to make for herself. Will abortion destroy my family? If we allow the right to choose, if we allow women to choose for themselves whether or not they are willing to bring a child into this world, will that tear apart my family? I still don't see the correlation. I believe women have the right to control their own reproduction, within reason (the nation is disgusted at Nadya Suleman's decision to bear octuplets after six other children, but if she hadn't implanted the embryos they would have been destroyed, but isn't that "abortion"? Another opinion for another blogpost)...
As far as the changing roles of men and women, to me, we are progressing forward. While there is danger in both men and women completely forsaking family for career, I don't plan on living that way but again it's a choice that I do not think I have a right to judge anyone for, as long as it is their choice. I have a lot of friends who love being stay-at-home moms, and that's great for them. I have many friends who are not married or have not yet had children because they are pursuing graduate degrees, or practicing law, or saving Burma. That's wonderful for them. Who knows where I will fall? I plan on going to graduate school with a toddler, but maybe that will not be feasible (though I will try darn hard). The point of this IS, the changing roles of men and women are changing in a way that are allowing women to live their lives genuinely and deliberately, and not simply live the life that is prescribed for them.
Professor Klein goes on to talk about the dangers of videogames, television, and materialism, and these are the things that in my opinion are the most dangerous to an LDS family. I would add in pornography and debt as well, though that's probably encompassed by the latter three. These things seem to me to be threats to my family's well-being. A child that sits around and watches rotten television and plays violent videogames all day is worse off in my opinion than a child whose parents know and love a homosexual couple and fight for their rights.
One final thought: The talk also discusses the degradation of the family in terms of housework. I really like an article by Kathleen Barr that we read in my political science class on Family Work, how it brings families together and if we simply relegate tasks or outsource housework we are losing out on an important part of family life. But I still hate housework.
Thoughts?
Is that the speaker's way of keeping women in the home and not allowing them to choose family planning, careers, development of talents and equal roles in their life?
ReplyDeleteIt is frustrating that someone feels and is speaking to the LDS (BYU) community the destruction of family lies in these tangents mentioned. For one, equal partnerships do so much more for married couples. We are able to achieve our dreams and do things besides stay at home. THIS IS A GOOD THING! It makes room for happier moms and fulfilled dads, respect for single women, and promotes personal development.
I do not know if I agree with this talk much. I really hope students didn't come away from it thinking, "gay rights" are bad, women need to forsake education and career/talent and stay at home, and more housework and home decor is important. I really hope that students DID feel a change within them and were able to seek out the good intentions but realize that protecting our family spiritually and physically is many other efforts and convictions like the force of media and not playing outside enough.
I am more concerned with not giving quality time with my child, or the fast paced society which deprives us all of nature, meditation and self-sufficiency. I am not concerned with how much more fulfilling my life is as a student mama artisan, shared with a student papa artist, with our darling and growing child who KNOWS each of her parents because we share responsibilities.
A few months ago I decided that the order of priorities in my life was this:
ReplyDelete1- It's more important to stay married than to have another kid. So if more kids will cause way too much stress I'm done. (This is a very real possibility in my case)
2- It's more important to have a family than it is to go to school, so if I can't go to graduate school I won't, but I will try to make it happen.
3- Going to school and working are very important to me, but not at the expense of numbers 1 and 2.
I'm also confused as to why allowing gays to marry will destroy my family. I don't get it. But we have a prophet for a reason, and I'm aware of my own limited understanding.
I'm also afraid that this will make even more girls feel justified in dropping out of school to be mommies, though... People don't think enough sometimes.
I can't tell you how many different novels I've written in response to this. But I kept deleting them and when I really thought about it I realized anything that causes neglect of family is the biggest threat to my family. Like that housework thing you were talking about...families need to spend time together. Lots of good, quality time doing good, quality things. I am concerned about video games, materialism, pornography, abortion, whatever. But, honestly, I'm more concerned about Aaron and I and eventually our children getting so wrapped up in our individual hobbies or causes that we don't spend the time together that we need to in order to sustain our relationships. I think the best protection we can give our children is lots of love and attention balanced with time to be by themselves and learn on their own. Kids brought up in that kind of environment are much more likely to make good decision and eschew evil influences.
ReplyDelete