I will try to keep this tasteful :)
My cousin Shay has an advice blog of sorts, and she ran a recent column on sex within marriage, specifically keeping things spicy after babies. We were discussing a different topic and she said that I should comment because I probably have a lot of insight into this subject. Maybe theoretically speaking... I may? But from experience, maybe not.
Honestly, we are not really sexually "active" at the moment, whatever that means. We're on a once every few weeks kind of schedule. There are probably a multitude of factors affecting our sex life, from finals to working at 6 in the morning at the bakery to moving across the world. You can blame it on the co-sleeping, but I think it has more to do with lack of desire than anything. I don't think if we really really wanted to Amir in the bed would not stop us. Because there are other places to do it besides the bed.
I'm convinced, and I've heard from a few very authoritative sources, that a side effect of the IUD is an unbearably low sex drive. I'm blaming it on that for now, because my body/sex drive does feel messed up and whacked out, not just low or on hold for a little while.
Maybe it's the breastfeeding hormones or maybe it's the mere fact that I have a parasite hanging from my body 16.7 hours a day, but I just have ZILCH sex drive ever since I had him. Even after a romantic date (ok, maybe we haven't been on any) or a night on the town (with baby in tow) and even when I'm well-rested and feeling pretty good, I still have no desire for sex. I'd rather clean the kitchen.
I'm sure all my readers are out there thinking "oh, poor Tim!" but honestly, if he was wanting it more often I would probably oblige him. Not because I have to though, according to my mom. She is of the perspective that a wife's duty to her husband requires regular conjugal visits or else he has a good excuse to find it somewhere else. While she later recanted that statement after a good rant from me, I am firm in the belief that a marriage does not require regular sex, and I don't think a husband needs regular sex to be satisfied within the marriage. Again with the readers thinking, "but what does Tim have to say about all this?" but he is actually firm in his belief of the same principle. He actually is more passionate (haha) about the fact that sex is not required for intimacy. we've had discussions and he can pretty heated about the fact that he does not want to have sex if I don't want to and will not be pressing the issue because he doesn't think it's necessary to be content in our marriage. Don't misunderstand though, we both think sex is great and beautiful and sacred, but if one or both parties has no desire then it's none of those things, it's just obligatory and boring.
And this is why the IUD will most likely be coming out right around with Amir turns one (I would like to wait longer... much longer, but I also really want to have sex with my husband and enjoy it). But if it does come out, we WILL be finding an alternative method because I will NOT be having another one of these precious little parasites anytime soon.