The transition to two has been rather seamless. I highly recommend everyone with two children have a husband that only leaves for three hours a day. The one day he was gone from 9-5 I thought I would die a little inside by the end of the day. So, kudos to you full-time SAHMs, glad I'm not one of you. I'm going back to work next week already, I was getting antsy and they agreed to throw me on the schedule for April. We've already started pumping and feeding baby daughter a bottle every few days to prepare. Ok, I'm doing the pumping, Tim is doing the feeding, baby is doing the eating (and awesome at it, check out the fat rolls). I hated, hated, hated pumping with Theodore, but this time around I'm not minding it. I think being around pumps for the past year every day has me appreciating them a bit more. Breastfeeding at the breast is still way preferable, but at least I know now that I won't dread pumping as much as I thought I would. Plus, pumping in a clean room at WIC will be MUCH different than pumping in that nasty, nasty Provo Bakery bathroom (plus, working with all women who love breastfeeding almost as much as me versus telling my male co-workers I needed to go pump and watching them get a little awkward).
Theodore does this hilarious thing recently. He got into watching Blue's Clues on Netflix after baby sister was born, and now will sit in our read chair with a pen and notebook and "think." If we sing the thinking chair song, he puts his hands on his face like Steve. He does this almost daily.
Tim called this one: "[Theodore] Hanson"
We go outside for hours a day now that the weather has taken a turn for the best.
Multi-taking mother
First bath
First bottle, post first-bath
First family photo (thanks Charla!)
Ridiculous face, playing "Non-Violent, Politically Correct War" (from Katy and Becca).
I decided I didn't want baby's blog name to be Clementine, because I think that is our next daughter's name (don't tell Tim that, he's pretty sure we are done...)
So, to me, she is Lulu. And she will remain so on this blog for all intents and purposes.
I just didn't want our pre-new-baby life to be lost in the shuffle of all the baby-having posts. Mostly because we did a few fun things in the days leading up to her birth, and I want her to remember how cool her mom is, 38 weeks pregnant.
On Saturday, we went for a hike up Rock Canyon for a couple of hours, intending to get labor started. Well, we failed because contractions actually stopped, ironically enough. But it was an absolutely beautiful day and we had a glorious time. The funnest (and funniest) part was Theo's re-enactment of his Dora the Explorer book, with excerpts taken from various episodes as well. He occasionally would stop, point the ground and say "rocks, tree, mountain" as those were his three landmarks on his map. He also at one point shouted, "oh no, a bear!" just like in his book. It was so, so hilarious.
Last pregnancy photo....
We also played at the parks in Rock Canyon, until Theodore couldn't keep himself up any longer:
Monday was boring, but Tuesday was filled with dentist appointments, vaccines, a midwife appointment ("any day now... really!") and then on to work and getting our car fixed (it needed a new oil pan). After work, we ate dinner with the Lees and then a sleepy guy and we went to the Democratic Caucus for part of Utah County. Our precinct had all of 5 people there, and picking the delegates and precinct chair was kind of like "do you want to do it? no... me neither... well someone has to do it".
Hello, 38-week 30-pound weight gain pregnant face!
The coming of Tallulah was much-anticipated, as I was practically in active labor for weeks. At my midwife appointment on March 6th, I was dilated to 4 cm and completely effaced, with baby sitting pretty low. The midwife said they expected to see me that weekend, and I was not instructed to not attend my brother-in-law's wedding up in Bountiful in case things progressed quickly. Well, we went anyways, and besides a few pre-birthing waves that didn't really hurt and lots of pressure, nothing happened. Saturday morning, we headed up to Rock Canyon to hike and see if that would help things along. I think it did the exact opposite... contractions all but ceased, but we enjoyed the day immensely, the weather was gorgeous, and Atticus had a great time. It was our last big outing as a family of 3. On Sunday, things seemed to be picking up and I was having a lot of back pain, so we headed to the hospital that evening after a stopover at Casey and Melissa's to drop off the guy. I was still only dilated to a 4, and things slowed down, so we went home to sleep it off.
Monday and Tuesday brought little change, lots of walking resulted in nothing major, and I went to work without incident. We went to the midwife on Tuesday and I was already dilated to a 5, and she said she thought baby would be coming soon. I was jaded by hearing that the past few weeks and decided to myself I was done getting checked every week and so I did not make another appointment. I slept great Tuesday night, fortunately, because I was awoken on Wednesday morning by a major OUCH contraction at about 8:30. I automatically knew this was it, as it felt much different from previous ones. I labored around the house for a while, ate breakfast, took a bath with Atticus, and almost sent Tim to class. Around 9:45, when he was planning on leaving, I called my friend Charla to come stay with me in case I needed anything. Well, five minutes later or so we were in the car heading to the hospital and they were coming every 3-4 minutes apart. The car ride was brutal, and I seriously thought I must already be in transition or something. However, we arrived at Labor and Delivery and I was still only at a 5 (I had told Tim that if I wasn't at least progressing/ "at least a 6", I wanted an epidural, but I didn't get one fortunately).
(photo credit: all photos taken by the very talented Charla Finnigan)
After 20 minutes on the birth ball getting a strip of the baby's heart rate (which was excellent), I was cleared to get into the tub and WHOA, what a feeling. Water is truly nature's epidural, it was amazing but it did slow down my contractions quite a bit. The midwife arrived (by this time, Charla and Austin were also there supporting me), and we talked about expectations and what we wanted the birth to be like, since I had never met with her this pregnancy. She was really open to everything, and she was so supportive of my wishes. I asked for chocolate pudding, she brought my Haagen-Daz chocolate ice cream. I told her my most important requirement was that I was not separated from the baby, and she was fully onboard with making sure we weren't, even if she was having trouble breathing at first, like the guy (she said: "they can't take her away if I don't cut the cord!"). Our nurse Ashlee was supportive too, though she often would walk by and say things like "don't let me see you eating..." and things like that. I had to be monitored for one contraction every hour, but other than that was left alone with my support team to do our thing. Jennifer (the midwife) hung out for a while, but I think could see that I had plenty of help with laboring and so left and came back periodically. She offered suggestions occasionally, like walking to pick things up, but I had no desire to rush and make it hurt more, so I stayed in the tub. I did get out to go to the bathroom a few times, as I was really afraid to poo in the tub, which is a really silly fear when you are in labor.
Ahhhhhhhh..... (still feeling pretty good)
Surrounded by love and peace and harmony
Things progressed swimmingly (no pun intended), and I had a good handle on contractions for the next few hours. I don't have an exact timeline, but sometime around 12:30, I was checked again and at 7 cm. After this time, I knew I was getting close to transition, but I still had nice, long breaks in between contractions where I could talk and joke and I couldn't feel anything. It was marvelous. We skyped with my mom and sister for a while, we meant to be doing that during the actual birth but things started happening quickly after this time....
We got home on Friday afternoon, and things are going really well since. The days are FLYING by. Why does that happen?! We are all in love with this darling girl, especially her big brother. He wants to hold her all the time, and when he goes to bed at night he just asks for the baby over and over again, and is sad he can't sleep with her. She is as easy-going as Theo was as a baby, though we are having some gas issues. She slept all night without nursing, but is so grunty in her sleep, I could barely sleep. She cluster feeds all day, only taking the occasional nap in the afternoon. She is super alert and pleasant the rest of the time, except when we change her or put her down.
She is an awesome nurser, I was a little worried because she has a really tight frenulum on her upper lip and was tucking it in a lot, but it's not hurting me at all. We're doing lots of laidback breastfeeding due to an extreme oversupply of milk. My milk came in after about 10 hours with a vengeance. Wow. Fortunately, I have a Medela Symphony breast pump from work that is doing wonders. And having a toddler who still nurses doesn't hurt either... Charla and Austin had the insight to bring me cabbage leaves, and so I'm using those after almost every nursing session to help bring down the inflammation and reduce the supply. So far, they aren't hurting as bad as with Theo even though they are like 4 times as huge. I'm glad I know so much about breastfeeding, it's making this time around so much smoother.
And I have to put in a plug for natural birth -- women, seriously, it's amazing how quickly you recover. I thought I had an easy recovery last time around. We're at day 4 now, I'm not taking pain medication, and I don't hurt at all. Even though I only pushed three times and she flew out of me, I did not tear one bit (thanks to a combination of good genetics, evening primrose oil applied daily during the last three weeks, laboring in water, and an upright pushing position). Not only did I not tear, I'm not swollen at all like I was the last time. It's pretty remarkable. My bleeding is super light, but that's mostly due to a pretty nasty postpartum hemorrhage that required pitocin and cytotec, causing my uterus to clamp down super fast. But lots of breastfeeding doesn't hurt with the uterus clamping downness either.
I just love the baby stage so much. I wish it could last forever. Sigh...
Here are photos and a picture of the new baby, hesitantly named Tallulah Fern Carroll-Browning. You can see all the stats in this picture. (All the picture qualities will be a little low, since we have a clunky old iPad 2, but we'll get high quality photos as soon as they are available).
The birth went really well, but I think I'll let Cait tell the whole birth story. Here's pictures from the birthing time. Our good friends Charla, Austin, Melissa and Analiesa came to help Cait in her moment of epic struggle.
Atticus was really good, even while feeling a little ill from a round of shots he had the day before in preparation for the baby coming over. He fell asleep for a while, but mainly he watched shows and ate snacks.
Like I said the birth went just as planned and resulted in a happy meeting between mom and baby.
Baby got checked and then there was some quality skin to skin time.
Atticus spent the night with some friends and Cait and I (mainly Cait) worked on getting a fairly fussy Tallulah through the night. She was fussy and it was probably just a little too much milk on her first day. We're using a pacifier now a little bit and that seems to be helping.
Today we've just spent a pleasant day with just the three of us as we still haven't picked up Atticus, but I will do that soon. So here are the last few pictures and a video.
What I like about this one (I'm not sure if it will come through clear) is her name, of course, but also the "universal precautions mandatory" sign, which probably has something to do with all the standard procedures we opted out of right after birth. It also says "cutie" on the little tag, which makes me wonder if there is a tag that says "not-so-cute" or "kind of ugly." Probably not.
Everyone is asking for updates, and I don't feel like texting all of this in many messages, so here is the deal:
This weekend, the contractions really picked up in frequency and intensity. On Saturday, we went hiking for a few hours in Rock Canyon (whoa, was the weather gorgeous this weekend... welcome spring!), and though I actually felt great the whole time (no pressure/contractions which was crazy considering what we were doing), the subsequent Costco trip left me feeling like I couldn't stand up. Saturday night they subsided and I was able to sleep (though fitfully) them off.
Sunday, things picked up like crazy and we thought this was probably the day she'd come. Sometime in the evening, they started coming every 4-5 minute with tons of pressure and lower back pain. We stopped by the Lees for a while and hung out, then left Theo there (he's been begging for "An-bell" for weeks, and then once we arrived, he hugged her briefly and promptly ran to her toy room without her and stayed there for an hour by himself) and went to get checked at the hospital. Still no cervical change, not in real labor. I ended up exhausted by the time we left, and slept great last night, so it was a blessing in disguise to not be up laboring all night if it was the real deal.
Contractions have all but ceased this morning, though I can barely walk from all the hip pain and pressure from her tiny head. But all in all, we had a really nice weekend, Theo was totally pleasant and has been sleeping through the night now that the weather has warmed and our house is not quite so cold. We are loving playing all day outdoors again, and our fridge is stocked with delicious things to eat (now that the weather has warmed, we've shifted from soups and casseroles to salads and wraps and tons of fruit... which I prefer and are easier to make). I'm sleeping better (I've only been waking up every three hours... and the other day I managed a six hour stretch... it was amazing). Tim is doing really well in school and getting ahead, and we've kept our house really clean in anticipation of having to leave any minute and not come back for two days. It's been really nice actually.
Apparently, my body creates such an ideal gestational environment, my babies don't want to come out despite all the odds stacked against them! I've been reading lots of "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" in preparation for childbirth. Dr. Northrup thinks dysfunctional labor patterns are caused by a mother's ambivalence towards actually having the baby (not the birthing part, but the mothering part), so maybe I'm just not ready yet to be a mother of 2 and need a few more days/weeks to work through my emotions.
I'm working a full week because of conferences and such this week, so hopefully that will help things go by fast and not have me so antsy. Tim thinks that's why I'm holding her in, because we need the money and the longer I work, the more we'll have. I have no idea what's creating the long, drawn-out prodromal labor, but all babies are born eventually, one way or another! I definitely won't be pregnant a month from now.
Since these may very well be the last few hours/days/weeks I'm pregnant ever in this mortal life (though I've told Tim if eternity is an endless round of pregnancies, count me OUT), I feel as if I should be savoring every kick, every craving, and every thought of "Is this it? Could this be it? Was that a real contraction?" I'm trying to, eating plenty of Haagen Dazs ice cream (readers, if you have not had their chocolate peanut butter, get up, drive to the store, and buy it RIGHT NOW) and relaxing to lots of Hypnobabies. Last week, my midwife said I wouldn't make it to this week. This week, my midwife gave me strict instructions to not go anywhere this weekend and that they would probably be seeing me tonight. Apparently, baby is very, very low (which was a duh for me because holy ouch in my bum all day long) and I'm almost completely effaced, but still 4 cm dilated (but we don't birth by numbers in Hypnobabies). I told her I have no idea when to come to the hospital because with Theodore, my contractions didn't really "hurt" until I was a good 7-8 cm along and the only reason I went to the hospital is because he was posterior and my back was killing me. This baby is decidedly anterior with a big old bum sticking out above my belly button for the past few weeks, and the idea of packing Theodore in the car in the middle of the night only to be sent home is the least desirable thing in the world to me right now. Not to mention, he has an ear infection and we are starting antibiotics, so it'd be great if we could give him a few days to recover. I'm still convinced labor will be long and drawn-out like the first time, but with baby's ideal position, being low, and it being the second time around... maybe not.
This pregnancy has treated me fairly well, but the lack of being able to bend over with shooting pains through my lower half, and the lack of sleep due to contractions and discomfort (though sleeping is surprisingly better than the last month), and just my eager anticipation of meeting this tiny girl, (oh, and the fact I have plans to visit grad schools March 20th...) has me wishing for her sooner rather than later. But at the same time, work has me on the schedule another two weeks (and we need the money), Theodore is sick and contagious so wouldn't be able to come to the hospital, the whole wedding thing this weekend, etc. etc. has me wishing she'll stay put just a week longer.
And I leave you with this, the height of pregnancy bliss at my blessingway a few weeks ago, courtesy of my dear friends (Austin, Charla, Tallia, Raquel, Jen) and cousin Nessa (the great Henna artist):
Every pregnant woman should have a blessingway with her awesome, hippie, slightly-Pagan friends.
When I submitted my applications for grad school, I was nervous I would be rejected everywhere and have wasted an exorbitant amount of time, energy, and money for nothing. I didn't expect to win a prestigious Presidential Fellowship at one school and fairly nice stipends at two others, and be put in a position to make a hard decision on where the heck we will be living for the next 5 years. Here's the low-down:
1. Rutgers, in New Brunswick, NJ: Lower-ranked school, but their specialty is women and politics, which is exactly what I'd like to study. They have no fewer than 10 classes focusing on women and gender in their Poli Sci department, and I have had no fewer than 5 emails from professors convincing me that Rutgers is the choice for me. Apparently, I am the only Political Science applicant to receive the university-wide Presidential Fellowship, which includes full tuition, health care for me, and a $35,000 a year stipend for the first two years. The downside: we don't particularly want to live in New Jersey and the cost of living is quite high. Someone who loves NJ, convince us otherwise....
2. University of Wisconsin-Madision: Higher-ranked school who offered a decent stipend of $18,000. They have a great Women and Gender Studies department, and a few professors that are doing interesting research on women in IR and comparative politics. But, yeah, only a few. And I think they have 1 or 2 classes on women and gender in their Poli Sci department. Which wouldn't be that big of a deal because getting a PhD you don't take that many classes anyways, but I couldn't do an emphasis in Women and Politics like at Rutgers (which is the only school in the nation to offer such a thing), so I'd be sitting for my prelims in Comparative Politics. The upside: we really, really want to live in Madison. Low cost of living, sweet outdoors scene, Children's Museum and free zoo, Trader Joe's right by campus, etc, etc.
Both schools have a great Library and Information Science program for Tim, so that's not really a factor. We, of course, would like to be able to visit the schools since they will pay to fly me out, meet with professors, see the cities, but being 37 weeks pregnant kind of hampers our ability to book plane tickets as we have no idea when we can go. We have to go before mid-April, as decisions are expected by the 15th. But you know, she could be two weeks late and come the first week of April, then we wouldn't get to go at all....
PS, number 3. University of Illinois-Urbana-Champaign: Not really in the running anymore, as the previous two schools have kind of trumped it.
