I do not like to quit things. Even if said things are incredibly unenjoyable in nature, I don't like to be considered a quitter. I have a hard time quitting jobs. I usually have the "I have to" quit approach. Like: I'm moving to Egypt this summer, I can't work at the Bakery any more. I'm actually trying to figure out if I've ever really quit a job out of the blue with no other opportunity available and I can't think of one. I used to work at BYU for Visual Communications, but I quit that when I got the job with WomanStats (and how I wish I never had to quit that glorious job!) I had to quit the women's shelter when I had Theodore on account of the working nights. Ok, I've thought of one: Platinum Protection. I quit that job because it was stealing my soul, one desperate consumer at a time. This time was similar, though not quite the same. Prosper isn't a terribly dishonest company (not like Platinum Protection), but sitting at a computer all day doing something I am not the least bit passionate about was resulting in chronic headaches, grumpiness, and just overall malaise with life. The weekends were my salvation. Even though I'm sure the people on my team are great people, I could not get over the constant sports hero deification (and not just Jimmer) and subtle sexism ("girls shouldn't go on missions" or "women's basketball doesn't matter anyways"). The whole environment of Prosper was just not my cup of tea. With the weather quickly approaching glorious, the thought of being inside at a computer rather than outside at the park with my awesome fellow play group mothers and our adorable kiddos almost had me in tears.
So... I quit. Today is my last day and I could not be more relieved or elated. While I will no longer have endless hours to peruse recipe blogs or read birth stories, I am looking forward eagerly to more time with Theodore, a less stressed-out husband, more healthful meals, a cleaner house, and more time for hobbies like reading and sewing (I did my first project last night in ages [cloth snack bags!] and it felt so good to be creating).
I think about this all the time. I hate working a dead-end job, even though I'm grateful to have it, because my month of unemployment was a mental and physical nightmare. I built my identity around going to school and what I was going to do in the future after I finished grad school (think it was along the lines of saving the world or something like that) and it's so hard to realize that I'm not doing that. I am hoping stay-at-home motherhood will appeal to me because at the moment my refrain is "once I have a baby I can quit"!
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that you're going back to school--I can't wait to hear about everything you'll learn. And you should post about the cloth snack bags, they're a great idea.
i am happy that you are happy.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I love that you can just say if this isn't making me happy, I'll do something else. Someday I will be able to quit my job. I just keep telling myself, just one more year (Ben should be graduated by then). I too look forward to being home more and creating. Instead I am at working reading blogs about all the things I would rather be doing. You should come visit us : )
ReplyDeleteI can't wait until this summer rolls around and I can do the same thing at my current job! I imagine it will feel oh so good :)
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