Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Remembering Briana

A few days ago, I read about the death of Briana Blackwelder and for not knowing her that well, it's deeply affected me.

I "met" Briana only via phone and email, for the few months we were in DC. After weeks and months of deliberation and lots of research, Tim and I decided to have a home birth with Theodore. I think I talked to about every single midwife in the area before I found Briana through my dear friend (and doula), Analiesa. Even though we were communicating about my birth from across the country, I felt like we really clicked. She not only was willing to attend my birth at the last minute, since we would presumably be getting back into town a month before my due date, but she also was willing to attend my birth at a substantially lower cost than what she usually charged when I mentioned that we were stretched tight with money. Even though we didn't end up having her as our midwife for the planned home birth, she still corresponded with me through the pre-term labor mess and the flying back to Utah and was really, genuinely concerned about my well-being along with the well-being of my baby. And she never even officially had an appointment with me! Ever since we ended up birthing in the hospital, I always regretted the missed opportunity for the home birth with Briana,  and had been planning on seeking her out in the future for my next birth. Even though I did not even know her very well, I mourn the loss of such a beautiful, talented, and genuine woman who cared deeply about her calling in life as a midwife.

Our last interaction was a few weeks after Theodore was born, she e-mailed me to ask me how everything ended up going. And you know what? With everything going on, I completely spaced ever e-mailing her back and letting her know. I thought about it several times since but just never got around to responding. I doubt she ever had a second thought about it, but now that she's gone, it is one of those things I'll deeply regret until the memory fades with time.

I love this beautiful tribute from her close friend. It puts into words my feelings not only on death, but on life thereafter.

1 comment:

  1. Her death is very tragic. Just from reading her blog I can tell what an amazing person she was and how many lives she touched for the better. She actually was a member of my singles ward, though I never met her. I will be helping at her memorial service tonight. It's a sober reminder of the fragility of life.