Don't ask, just DO IT

I have a new favorite blog. I love feminist Mormon blogs and I love birthing blogs, and this blog combines the best of both worlds! Today she posted something that resonated with me - a theory I've thought about before but never really put into words.

When you're in labor, don't ask! Just do it! Do what feels good, do what your body tells you to do. Honestly, if you unhook your monitors to go to the bathroom or get up and walk around, what's the worse that can happen? The nurses will berate you? I thought about this a lot when I was in the hospital in DC. There I was strapped to a bed, put on a monitor, and told to lay still and be quiet. And I did it, for the most part because I was content to lay there since I wasn't really in labor. But... I did unhook myself quite a few times to go to the bathroom or get a snack or something. And then I did make the nurses slightly irritated. And one time... I took the monitor off because I was sick of it. Oops.

And eating and drinking? For one, the recommendation is obsolete and quite frankly: stupid. And if you're hungry/thirsty... just eat or drink for goodness sakes! I was talking to a mom yesterday who went into preterm labor and was in the hospital for three days before she actually had the baby, and because she was in active labor the whole time, they would not let her eat! FOR THREE DAYS! That's crazy!! What is wrong with these doctors?

I was especially fortunate to have a midwife attend my birth who was flexible and let me do my thing. Heck, she even actively went against "hospital policy" by bringing me food and drink, letting me labor in the tub after my water broke, etc. The other midwife in her practice just told me to eat and drink, but don't tell her because she's not supposed to let me (which I was still cool with, since you could tell she was being subversive against a ridiculous rule). And I was never hooked up to a monitor once I was in labor, I never was forced into any position... in fact, I labored and pushed in about every position possible and my midwife encouraged and suggested different, upright positions to help the baby descend. I know if I did not have her around and was laying flat on my back, he never would have come and I probably would have ended up with a c-section or assisted delivery. It was hard enough getting him out when I was kneeling and squatting (and a lot of OBs would not be patient enough to let a woman push for over two hours with little progress after laboring for ten in the hospital, but Jessica never rushed me or acted like we really needed to hurry things).

When I was attending Charlie's birth as a doula, there was this awesome moment where Kaity really wanted to be in the tub because she was fully-dilated and was NOT interested in moving which the nurse was trying to make her do, and she screamed something to the effect of "LEAVE ME ALONE". And then her midwife knelt down and said bring everything over, we're having this baby in the tub! And I know the nurse was just doing her job, she was really great and I liked her a lot, she was just trying to follow the policy of not birthing in the tubs. (and Kaity did end up moving to the bed in between contractions after a few minutes since the bathroom WAS really small and not designed for birthing in and Charlie's heart rate was low-ish... but I loved that she was assertive and knew what she needed at THAT moment and would not be persuaded otherwise).

So, the moral is: we should probably listen to doctors and nurses on the big, important-ish medical-type things, but when it comes to silly, non-evidence-based practices like being continuously monitored, food/drink restrictions, and birthing positions, women need to stop pleasing their care providers and start a birthing revolution.