Week of January 27

Sunday: We had a lovely day going to the Unitarian Church in the morning (on time for once). The sermon was a really interesting one about the fourth principle of UUism, "A free and responsible search for truth" and how that doesn't mean "You can believe whatever you want." Instead it means that you commit yourself to believing the truths that you discover on your own personal search for truth. Very interesting.

Monday: Jenny the babysitter came, after a long absence. Atticus was very excited. I got some errands done and took a little personal time. That afternoon we had playgroup at our friend Nina's house and that was a lot of fun.

The scene right before babysitter Jenny came over

Our friend's son J. showing us how gender bending is done. He's German/Finnish/Swedish.
Can you tell?

Tuesday: School day. Great weather. Took Lula out for a nice long run and the kids played outside together for a long time. We had story time in the afternoon (or in the morning if you are Eliza and came at the wrong time). It was a little unorganized, but I am hoping to get it more organized in the future.

Wednesday: SNOW DAY! Cait still had school, but she came home early and we spent some good time in the snow. We'll save the videos and pictures for their own post.

Thursday: Thursday was a reset day. The kids sleeping schedules were off, so we let Atticus play PBSKids for a few hours while we cleaned and cooked and got the house reset, and then we put the kids to bed early so that we could do taxes together.

Friday: Atticus and I took an epic trip to the WIC clinic in near 0 degree temperatures. Luckily (thanks to planning and a smartphone) we got all the buses right on time and spent a minimal amount of time waiting in the cold. Then we came back home for naps and more cleaning. At night we went to a parenting seminar at the UU church about how to parent kids in an age of distraction.

Saturday: We spent most of today at a daylong parenting workshop at the UU Church that accompanied the seminar that focused on creating meaningful family rituals. They had childcare both days and lunch today, and we all had a really good time. This will likely get its own post soon.

This week I read: Rebecca by Daphne de Maurier

Preschoolers make the best housekeepers

Atticus is getting so, so good at helping around the house already. I love that he is going to grow up in a house where gender roles are not defined, and where he is expected to help. We try to not ever complain about cleaning up (which is hard, mostly for me), and make it fun. Tim always puts on music or a podcast to do the dishes. We often have family clean up time where we turn up the music and set a timer and speed clean the entire apartment (luckily, cleaning up 600 square feet takes about 15 minutes). When I was down in bed this week with mastitis, Atticus often would grab my rice bag and put it in the microwave and heat it up then bring it back to me. He (almost) always will clean up his games when he is finished playing, because he knows not to take out another until the current one is away (otherwise, our apartment would be a disaster of tiny figurines and cards). He often comes down to the laundry room and divides up the clothes between darks and lights and starts the washers, or moves clothes from the washer to the dryer. He likes to clean the bathroom with me, scrubbing out the toilet and spraying/wiping everything down with the vinegar. I love that our home is full of safe cleaning supplies so we can involve our kids in the process. 

Our vacuum is the perfect size for him to push around and he recently discovered how cool the hose is. He likes to sprinkle baking soda mixed with essential oils on the carpet and hose it up (thanks Austin, for the idea!)

I can only hope that his healthy relationship with housekeeping remains into the older years...

Sometimes he gets distracted sucking other things up as well, like his shirt.

Back to school

Although it feels like it has been a really lame Christmas break because we haven't traveled beyond two miles from our home in a few months, life is really quite lovely here in our little corner of the world. Though the kids have been sick a lot, we've gotten into quite a nice groove. Now, if we could get past teething and sleep deprivation... that would be another story. Poor Tallulah has FOUR top teeth on the verge of breaking through, and have been that way for weeks. She is grumpy, and it makes me grumpy. Atticus had a nasty case of the flu, and so we spent a whole weekend cooped up and I realized how much we rely on these weekly rituals... UU church, Mormon church, pizza night, preschool.

I started back to school last week. I've missed being in the classroom, and it feels good to start afresh, though I've felt a bit unorganized and need to crack down on my Facebook time/blogging time (oops)/general not doing schoolwork time. I spent the break reading feminist multicultural romance novels and listening to FMH podcasts, but was able to get in some readings for classes as well, but there is still a lot to do this semester. I think I calculated I'll be writing 150 pages of papers (one 40-50 page one, two 20 page ones and several shorter reaction papers). That's a lot of writing. Add to that two hours a day of language study + 600 pages of reading a week + grant apps for the summer that I should have turned in already = one busy mama student. If I can get in my groove I won't spend much longer than 6 hours a day during the week and almost no time on the weekends, but finding that groove can be hard. Luckily, much of my reading can be done on the iPad while nursing Tallulah at night (which we're doing a lot of lately...) so I get a lot done then. But alas, the work is seemingly never-ending sometimes.

Here is some photographic evidences of life:

Russian pirozhkis in the making (Atticus took this one)

He is getting so good at writing! (he wrote all of To, From, and Atticu by himself... I helped the Felix and the S). Atticus took this picture too.

In a stroller that we bought and then sold.

Baby loves her outside time!

We go to the chiropractor a lot lately (it's helped our kids sickness quite a bit actually)

"What is he DOING with his life??"

There are few things that bug me more than people thinking Tim is lazy because he's isn't DOING ANYTHING with his life. When they would never have that assumption of a mother who was staying at home with her children.

"Oh, Tallulah is 18 months next year, time to put her in daycare so Tim can DO SOMETHING with his life."

Yeah, ok, so he IS DOING SOMETHING. He is being a parent, and a dang good stay-at-home parent at that. And not to compare, but he's probably doing better than most stay-at-home moms. This week, he even organized a storytime play group to beat the winter blues. He is always on time to pick Atticus up from preschool. He packs nutritious lunches. He (could) make dinner every night, but sometimes I co-opt it (because I like to cook). He does the grocery-shopping.... by bike. With kids. He cloth-diapers. He takes the kids to pediatrician appointments. He walks Tallulah outside in the Ergo every time she needs a nap because I let her get too addicted to nursing to sleep. He reads a million books to Atticus and never gets bored of it. He is the best Lego/Lincoln Logs/train set builder (I get bored after about 5 minutes). Our kids spend their days playing in the sink, being run in the jogging stroller, and going to the Bookmobile all while listening to NPR. They are well-fed and well-clothed and Atticus (almost) never watches TV. He has this new app for organization, so he keeps the house clean, reads several books a week, takes a vitamin every day, and does yoga in the living room. How many SAHMs can brag about that??

I will admit Tim struggled at the beginning and I was frequently annoyed with his lack of ability to keep the house clean and kids fed. But... he has really progressed, and let's not let this go unsaid. I do believe he would defend my parenting honor should it ever be questioned (which it won't, because society NEVER, EVER EVER can be critical of a mother unless she is a drug addict). On the other hand, it's kind of cool to have your roles reversed in a way. When Tim is out, people are like "wow, you are a great dad, look at you being nurturing" and then when I'm at school rocking my classes everyone is all like "wow, I don't know how you do it, you're like the best student and mom ever."





Anyways.... next time you are tempted to think a SAHD needs to be "doing something" with his life, you can think it, but don't say it out loud, especially to me. Unless you want me to write a blog post praising my wonderful, feminist husband, then feel free.

Tim says this one looks like he's taping Lu's mouth shut while Atticus is playing iPhone, thus showing his inferiority as a parent. Actually, Atticus is learning to type his name and Tim is wiping boogs off of Boogs. 

Tim is so creative with his sensory projects (snow on a cutting board).

Yoga.

The color experiment (one of Atticus's many art activities).

Pre-bed Mr. Rogers watching.

Week of January 20

Sunday: Sick kids. I went to UU church in the morning, but most of the rest of the day was devoted to dealing with sick kids.

Monday: More sick kids. Everyone was sick of being home all day, but there was no where to go because everyone was sick and it was cold outside.

Tuesday: We went to the doctor today to try to figure things out, but they had nothing they could do for us.

Wednesday: The last really sick day. I went out in the afternoon to go to the dentist and the library. What would have been pretty easy with a car, was quite an adventure on the bus. Although, it was very snowy and that would have made driving a pain. After I got back, Cait went to teach yoga to the young women in the ward, and even though only one showed up, she really enjoyed it. We'll see if it inspires a different career course.

Thursday: Atticus was finally better and went to school, which was certainly a blessing. At night, we had a lecture night at our house, which is something that some people in our ward started a while back. I lectured on Twilight and how it reflects and complicates Mormon themes and how it is hard to really judge whether a book is good or not with some Jungian theory thrown in. It was nice.

Friday: A relaxed day at home before a well-attended pizza night. Thanks for coming everyone!

Saturday: Chores in the morning with a birthday party in the afternoon for Atticus's friend Felix. It was Angry Bird themed, which Atticus loved. It was also put on by Felix's Finnish mom, which apparently means filled with sugary sweets, which I loved. Also, we got a new niece! Congratulations Hillary and Devin. We also had a nice night babysitting a lovely little girl named Lilly. If only our kids could be that chill once in a while.

Lincoln Log house made by Guy and Mom

Beginning to figure out utensils

Talking to Grandma Betsey

Bathtime baby(ies)

Trying to recreate this pic, but Tallulah wasn't very happy to be taken from her toys.

"Where's the water?"

This is the best way to feed her yogurt. 

Our videographer child

And then he gets distracted....

Names

Sometimes I get a little sad about Tallulah's name. I always thought she'd be Clementine, and I still love that name so much. But I've resigned myself to the fact she is not Clementine, and there will probably never be a Clementine, and Tallulah is just my Tallulah and always was and always will be.

Sometimes I listen to other people when they tell me my kids have weird names and why couldn't I have just named them something normal?

But then I remember that my kids' have freakishly awesome, kind of unique names. And when I see awesome companies with those names, I get really excited. It's even better that most of them are sustainable, local, ethical brands.

Like the Atticus clothing company,

or Tallulah Cosmetics.

Maybe one day we'll eat at Tallulah on Thames or peruse books at Atticus Bookstore or camp in Tallulah Gorge State Park. And my kids will be glad they have such cool, special names.





(and maybe we'll even have a Clementine one day, because she's got some pretty awesome stuff too: art supplies, bakery, consignment shop).

Resolution: Less White Guys Books

One of my resolutions for 2013 is to read more books written by authors other than white, English-speaking, middle-class men, or about them. Part of engrained patriarchy, which I see as a big problem generally, is the willingness of the public to continue to consume media put out and focused on the main players in that patriarchy. Anyway, I've read enough books written by WASPs.

Largely I will be focused on reading books by women, but I will also try to read books from other cultures besides Western Europe and Russia. I've always wanted to read more books coming out from the Middle East, which is a really great source of quality literature. So bonus points for books written by women in an ethnic minority in a Arab country.

I'm also really looking for recommendations. I'm going off a few lists:

http://www.sacred-texts.com/wmn/index.htm
http://www.goodreads.com/list/show/1336.Best_Middle_East_Fiction (not sure if you have to log in to see these goodreads lists)
http://www.goodreads.com/list/show/1337.Best_Middle_East_nonfiction (this one has some Western men writing about the ME, I will likely not read those)
http://www.goodreads.com/list/show/852.Jezebel_s_Books_All_Women_Should_Read (also some Western men on this list)

So, any other essentials? I would love some help forming a good list.

Car-free so far

We've been car-free for almost two months now, and it has gone pretty well. The weather in Madison hasn't been as cold as it has been in Utah, but it hasn't been as warm as last years non-winter either. We've continued to add to our collection of snow gear to keep ourselves warm, but it is mostly stuff we would have had to buy anyway. We've been lucky that there hasn't been too many snowstorms, because those can be hard to ride in and can leave the roads tricky for days afterward, especially since they avoid using much salt on the roads here for fear that it will pollute the lakes.

We're still considering better options for hauling the kids, but our cheap trailer has done pretty well and the kids have gotten more used to it and wearing their helmets. Most of the time I (Tim) am hauling the trailer, but Cait has successfully pulled it too, on the new bike that she got (her "Call the Midwife" bike, she calls it). Drivers in Madison have been very courteous and we've avoided any close calls on the road so far. We're proud of sticking with it, and have only borrowed a ride twice (once before Cait had a bike and once when Cait went to Costco).

Not having a car has made doing errands a little bit harder, including necessitating more frequent trips for groceries and such, but more frequent trips have their upsides too. It's great to hop on my bike, cruise down to Whole Foods, sans bike trailer, pick up one or two things, and not having to scrape off the car window or feel like a chump for driving, polluting and wasting gas for sour cream and some salad greens.

This probably comes off as boasting, but that's okay. We're pretty proud of going car-free at the coldest time of year in one of the coldest parts of the country with two kids and making it just fine.

Here's some pictures of us going to church, on one of the coldest mornings so far.

The plastic cover goes down for wind blocking