I have not blogged in a while. Mainly it's because my life is boring, but also, because I'm not really sure about blogging itself. It is an inherently selfish proposition to think that anyone else out there wants to read what I have to say about my life. But is it more selfish to say that if there is anyone out there willing to take the time to read what we post on this blog, as we know there are at least a few people that do, to refuse to take a few minutes out of the day to share life happenings or random thoughts? This transition time from the old semester to the new one, from the old year to the new one has definitley been one of attempting to redefine myself and to reinvent myself. I'm reading a book right now about Fredrick Douglass (did anyone else know that his name had two "ss" be honest) and Abraham Lincoln called Giants. The author says that the number one thing they did to become giants was to redefine themselves. New years is a random time to try to do this, but it seems to be all the rage, so why not?
So this was a pretty rambling post. I promise to be more specific if I continue to blog. Let's end with this? What feelings do you the reader have about blogging? Obviously you are somewhat in support of it if you're here, let us know why? Do you ever worry about it being a waste of time or too selfish? Or is this all silly to think about in the first place?
trying our best to keep austin weird.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Nu Skin
Today, I had a job interview at Nu Skin. I didn't really know what they were all about before, but I'm kind of not-hating on it so much as I was. The idea of multi-level marketing kind of sickens me, I don't know why, maybe I just hate businesses? But businesses sell me great things like natural baby products and cloth diapers so you know. Nu Skin seems to be pretty dedicated to all-natural products and selling but not pushing their products. I hated working customer service at the alarm company because it felt so unethical. Telling poor, elderly, Hispanic ladies that they were stuck in a two-year contract with an alarm system they didn't want but signed the contract because a nice, good-looking Mormon boy schmoozed them stole my soul every time I worked. Well, "you signed a contract" was all I could pretty much say to help them. If I get the job (which is a toss-up since there were like 30 people there interviewing), I'll have to sit in a cubicle for six hours answering a phone, but at least I'll be helping people out who actually like the products. I think, at least. Anyone ever work there have any thoughts?
I also have applied at a bakery, the library, and as a substitute teacher. Surely SOMEONE wants to hire me... doesn't a college degree get you anything around here?
I also have applied at a bakery, the library, and as a substitute teacher. Surely SOMEONE wants to hire me... doesn't a college degree get you anything around here?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Four months
At four months, Atticus likes:
* Standing up, he even holds on to the side of the couch by himself now (as long as we're on hand in case he falls)
* TV, TV, TV (ack!) but especially ballet performances on TV
* Drooling, he soaks through at least 4 or 5 bibs a day
* Watching us dress or eat (he wants to eat. so. bad.)
* The Bumbo, and launching himself out of the Bumbo (did that for the first time today... no more sitting on the table while I cook)
* His bouncey chair, he's getting really good at spinning the toys
* The Sleepy Wrap, he falls asleep so fast in it
* Being held over our heads
* Being out and about
* The library
* Baths with mom
* Sleeping in his car seat next to our bed
* His awesome cloth diaper (see picture below) that matches the pj's mom made for herself, dad, and the neighbors
* Going on runs with dad
Atticus dislikes:
* Pretty much what he disliked last month: being hungry, being tired. He hates the sound the microwave makes
* Looking at himself in the mirror
* Dating violence (see picture below)
* Taking naps longer than half an hour
* Standing up, he even holds on to the side of the couch by himself now (as long as we're on hand in case he falls)
* TV, TV, TV (ack!) but especially ballet performances on TV
* Drooling, he soaks through at least 4 or 5 bibs a day
* Watching us dress or eat (he wants to eat. so. bad.)
* The Bumbo, and launching himself out of the Bumbo (did that for the first time today... no more sitting on the table while I cook)
* His bouncey chair, he's getting really good at spinning the toys
* The Sleepy Wrap, he falls asleep so fast in it
* Being held over our heads
* Being out and about
* The library
* Baths with mom
* Sleeping in his car seat next to our bed
* His awesome cloth diaper (see picture below) that matches the pj's mom made for herself, dad, and the neighbors
* Going on runs with dad
Atticus dislikes:
* Pretty much what he disliked last month: being hungry, being tired. He hates the sound the microwave makes
* Looking at himself in the mirror
* Dating violence (see picture below)
* Taking naps longer than half an hour
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Because I HAVE been given much.
I'm a notoriously ungracious gift-receiver. It's a flaw that I'm working on improving, and I definitely can sense the improvement this Christmas. And by ungracious, I mean that I often return gifts and express exasperation at the excessive gifting to me. I am the worst at writing thank you notes. It's not that I don't always like the gifts, usually they are great, but the real reason I think I'm not a great gift-receiver is because I feel guilty. I have blessings guilt. I watch the news, I go to work, I hear stories. Domestic abuse, rape, violence, murder, genocide, hunger, poverty, seclusion. There is so, so much hate in the world, so much pain that sometimes I take a step back and am astonished at how wonderful and happy my life is. Have you seen my husband and baby? What in the world did I do to deserve such blessings? I'm just average. I'm not that charitable, I don't think about planning meals for the pregnant mother on bedrest. I certainly volunteer to cook them, but I'm never the initiator of such service. I don't volunteer at the food bank on a regular basis, Tim indexes way more names than me every month, I'm not even that great at scripture study. Why did Heavenly Father see fit to bless me with such things?
I've struggled with these thoughts for some years now. Horrible guilt at my own life. Horrible guilt when I make mistakes. How can you make mistakes when God has blessed you so immensely?
But recently I've been doing more pondering on why there is evil in the world and why there is bliss. By divine design, my life (thusfar) has been plagued by few trials but bestowed with innumerable blessings. It is beyond my comprehension why this is so. I do know, however, that I am resolving to do the best I can possibly do with what I am given. I think this is what Heavenly Father expects of all of His children - "where much is given, much is required."
I have been blessed with intelligence. As such, I had the rare opportunity to attend a university virtually free of cost. I graduated last week. Then last night, I was lamenting how I wish I had completed a different major or learned a language or done a million other things that BYU offered. Moreover, I often slacked off in my schooling, and then the inevitable guilt of the poor widow in Uruguay whose tithing was funding my slacking off arose in my mind; I then used this guilt to my academic advantage. I tried to embrace every opportunity that arose for achievement and work. I am graduating with 208.5 credit hours, and an overall GPA that is something to be proud of. I completed about 5 independent research projects. I worked for four professors as a teaching assistant/research assistant. But for the former me, I think I could have done more. I was never satisfied with my achievements. But for the new me, my academic success is indeed a reflection of my gratitude to my Heavenly Father for giving me the chance to pursue this education. I have to take a step back, put the things I didn't do out of my mind, and reflect on what I DID.
I have also been blessed with this great guy who for reasons unbeknownst to me, agreed to spend eternity with me. Sometimes I'm critical of him. Sometimes I'm jealous. Sometimes I'm a million other things that hurt his feelings or make our marriage less than celestial. But I've been trying really very hard to be the best wife, be the kind of wife that he deserves. I don't know why Heavenly Father put him in my life, but I do know that I can strive to make the most of his influence on my attitudes and perceptions and actions.
While so many women are infertile, while so many babies are born unhealthy or with disabilities, I birthed this absolutely perfect and unquestionably beautiful little being. Why? I don't know. I do know that I can take this blessing and take care of him in a way that will let Heavenly Father know how absolutely lucky I consider myself. I can read to him, play with him, take him to the park and the library, rock him to sleep every night. There is no rush, there is nothing else I need to be doing except being a mother. Everything else can wait.
To those who have ever given me a gift in which I did not express adequate thanks: Thanks. You may not receive a thank you card, but I hope that in return, to better show my appreciation, I can be the best daughter/sister/mother/wife/cousin/friend possible.
I've struggled with these thoughts for some years now. Horrible guilt at my own life. Horrible guilt when I make mistakes. How can you make mistakes when God has blessed you so immensely?
But recently I've been doing more pondering on why there is evil in the world and why there is bliss. By divine design, my life (thusfar) has been plagued by few trials but bestowed with innumerable blessings. It is beyond my comprehension why this is so. I do know, however, that I am resolving to do the best I can possibly do with what I am given. I think this is what Heavenly Father expects of all of His children - "where much is given, much is required."
I have been blessed with intelligence. As such, I had the rare opportunity to attend a university virtually free of cost. I graduated last week. Then last night, I was lamenting how I wish I had completed a different major or learned a language or done a million other things that BYU offered. Moreover, I often slacked off in my schooling, and then the inevitable guilt of the poor widow in Uruguay whose tithing was funding my slacking off arose in my mind; I then used this guilt to my academic advantage. I tried to embrace every opportunity that arose for achievement and work. I am graduating with 208.5 credit hours, and an overall GPA that is something to be proud of. I completed about 5 independent research projects. I worked for four professors as a teaching assistant/research assistant. But for the former me, I think I could have done more. I was never satisfied with my achievements. But for the new me, my academic success is indeed a reflection of my gratitude to my Heavenly Father for giving me the chance to pursue this education. I have to take a step back, put the things I didn't do out of my mind, and reflect on what I DID.
I have also been blessed with this great guy who for reasons unbeknownst to me, agreed to spend eternity with me. Sometimes I'm critical of him. Sometimes I'm jealous. Sometimes I'm a million other things that hurt his feelings or make our marriage less than celestial. But I've been trying really very hard to be the best wife, be the kind of wife that he deserves. I don't know why Heavenly Father put him in my life, but I do know that I can strive to make the most of his influence on my attitudes and perceptions and actions.
While so many women are infertile, while so many babies are born unhealthy or with disabilities, I birthed this absolutely perfect and unquestionably beautiful little being. Why? I don't know. I do know that I can take this blessing and take care of him in a way that will let Heavenly Father know how absolutely lucky I consider myself. I can read to him, play with him, take him to the park and the library, rock him to sleep every night. There is no rush, there is nothing else I need to be doing except being a mother. Everything else can wait.
To those who have ever given me a gift in which I did not express adequate thanks: Thanks. You may not receive a thank you card, but I hope that in return, to better show my appreciation, I can be the best daughter/sister/mother/wife/cousin/friend possible.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Miscellaneous Mondays - Meet my sister
Introducing: Miscellaneous Mondays.
Meet my dear sister Lauren. She is one of the greatest moms around, and I'm not just saying that. Her three hilarious kids are some of the coolest kids to hang out with on a lazy summer day. She graduated from BYU with a Bachelor's degree in Marketing Communications, then decided to stay-at-home after darling Megan was born. And thus begins her saga of parenting:
1. Describe your parenting philosophy in 20 words or less: Don't sweat the small stuff. You can't spoil a baby. Everything in moderation. Eat veggies, play outside, and read daily.
2. What makes you laugh the hardest? My kids expressions - both facial and verbal.
3. What's the number one super best thing about being a mom? Watching a child grow, develop, and learn something new every day - from first steps and first words, to blowing kisses, riding a scooter, and reading a book.
4. What do you want more than anything for your kids? Health and happiness. Education, good friends, a relationship with Jesus Christ. Keeping the curiosity, creativity, optimism, and generosity they were born with.
5. Funniest quote of the week by your kids: Last week, we had a hard day and I made the kids grilled cheese and popcorn for dinner. Gavin said, "Popcorn for dinner?! How can that BE?!"
6. First thought when you became a mother for the first time: Megan, my first child, was born six weeks early, weighing four-and-a-half pounds. I think my first thoughts as a mother were for her safety and health. Those thoughts, of course, never change, no matter how old your children are.
7. Where do you see yourself in ten years? Twenty years? In ten years, I see myself as a very active mother of teenagers, being involved in their lives at school, home, and play. I hope to open my home to their friends, and be the kind of mother they are comfortable talking to about their problems. Megan will be a senior in high school, deciding where to attend college, and that will be an adventure. Gavin and Ben will be almost 15 and 11. What an incredible thought. In twenty years, I will still be in my forties and my children will have (hopefully!) left home for bigger and better things. I have no idea what I will be doing, but I'm sure it will be fabulous. I am inspired by women like Julia Child (I just watched Julie & Julia last night), who began careers later in life by pursuing a passion.
8. Most challenging aspect of motherhood: Motherhood is never what you think it will be. Children are individuals who make their own choices and a lot of things are out of your control. The daily aspects of motherhood, especially when children are young, are often exhausting, sometimes boring, and occasionally disgusting. Joy comes when you appreciate the small, wonderful moments, which happen constantly if you look for them.
Lauren played guitar at our outdoor reception. Did I mention she was in an all-girl band in Provo when she was at BYU? She's really cool.
Meet my dear sister Lauren. She is one of the greatest moms around, and I'm not just saying that. Her three hilarious kids are some of the coolest kids to hang out with on a lazy summer day. She graduated from BYU with a Bachelor's degree in Marketing Communications, then decided to stay-at-home after darling Megan was born. And thus begins her saga of parenting:
1. Describe your parenting philosophy in 20 words or less: Don't sweat the small stuff. You can't spoil a baby. Everything in moderation. Eat veggies, play outside, and read daily.
2. What makes you laugh the hardest? My kids expressions - both facial and verbal.
3. What's the number one super best thing about being a mom? Watching a child grow, develop, and learn something new every day - from first steps and first words, to blowing kisses, riding a scooter, and reading a book.
4. What do you want more than anything for your kids? Health and happiness. Education, good friends, a relationship with Jesus Christ. Keeping the curiosity, creativity, optimism, and generosity they were born with.
5. Funniest quote of the week by your kids: Last week, we had a hard day and I made the kids grilled cheese and popcorn for dinner. Gavin said, "Popcorn for dinner?! How can that BE?!"
6. First thought when you became a mother for the first time: Megan, my first child, was born six weeks early, weighing four-and-a-half pounds. I think my first thoughts as a mother were for her safety and health. Those thoughts, of course, never change, no matter how old your children are.
7. Where do you see yourself in ten years? Twenty years? In ten years, I see myself as a very active mother of teenagers, being involved in their lives at school, home, and play. I hope to open my home to their friends, and be the kind of mother they are comfortable talking to about their problems. Megan will be a senior in high school, deciding where to attend college, and that will be an adventure. Gavin and Ben will be almost 15 and 11. What an incredible thought. In twenty years, I will still be in my forties and my children will have (hopefully!) left home for bigger and better things. I have no idea what I will be doing, but I'm sure it will be fabulous. I am inspired by women like Julia Child (I just watched Julie & Julia last night), who began careers later in life by pursuing a passion.
8. Most challenging aspect of motherhood: Motherhood is never what you think it will be. Children are individuals who make their own choices and a lot of things are out of your control. The daily aspects of motherhood, especially when children are young, are often exhausting, sometimes boring, and occasionally disgusting. Joy comes when you appreciate the small, wonderful moments, which happen constantly if you look for them.
Lauren played guitar at our outdoor reception. Did I mention she was in an all-girl band in Provo when she was at BYU? She's really cool.
The Science of Sleep
The past few months have messed up my sleeping habits... what with the baby and all. Sure, the Guy wakes up every 2-3 hours to nurse and cuddle, but even when he is sleeping I have a hard time doing the same. Right at this moment, Tim is cuddled up with him sleeping soundly in our bed, but I have yet to join them. I tried for about half an hour, but gave up because there were so many great blog posts swimming in my head (strange, huh? All my best ideas come when I'm going to sleep... and by the morning I've forgotten them).
Maybe it has something to do with the bed-sharing? Having him in bed with me causes me to lose sleep? I think it might be so... but on the other hand, he's not encroaching on my territory. I get a whole half of the bed to myself, it's usually the other two that sleep close to each other.
Wacked schedule? We've been on one in which I sleep until noon. But even on days when I wake up early (say, 9), I still have a hard time sleeping.
Lack of exercise? I attempted to run today to remedy that, but I only made it around the block. It's blasted cold outside!
Stress? Now that school is over, I hardly can blame that.
Any tips to sleeping? I'm really ready to hunker down and try it.
Sometimes I do sleep though, as evidenced above.
Maybe it has something to do with the bed-sharing? Having him in bed with me causes me to lose sleep? I think it might be so... but on the other hand, he's not encroaching on my territory. I get a whole half of the bed to myself, it's usually the other two that sleep close to each other.
Wacked schedule? We've been on one in which I sleep until noon. But even on days when I wake up early (say, 9), I still have a hard time sleeping.
Lack of exercise? I attempted to run today to remedy that, but I only made it around the block. It's blasted cold outside!
Stress? Now that school is over, I hardly can blame that.
Any tips to sleeping? I'm really ready to hunker down and try it.
Sometimes I do sleep though, as evidenced above.
Halloween
I have a collection of draft posts that never seem to make it on our blog. Well, this is easy to remedy: click the publish post button. I think I always want to add witty commentary to photos, and then I simply forget.
Commentary: Halloween. Ward Party. Neighbors dressed as food storage. I bob for apples. The Guy is very adorable.
Happy Halloween!
Commentary: Halloween. Ward Party. Neighbors dressed as food storage. I bob for apples. The Guy is very adorable.
Happy Halloween!
Gross
Enfamil keeps sending me emails about formula (ANNOYING. How on earth did they get my email address?!).
I just received this one:
Give your baby a RestFull™ night.
Enfamil® RestFull™ is specially designed to help babies feel full longer and sleep better.
A natural way to help keep your baby feeling satisfied.
Designed to thicken gently in baby's tummy and digest slowly.
Your baby needs a proper amount of sleep to keep her healthy and happy. That's why we created Enfamil® RestFull™, the formula specially designed to naturally encourage a good night's sleep. So you both can rest better.
GROSS. Thicken in your baby's stomach?! Like, so they feel bloated all night? This seems so unnatural and unhealthy. Besides, it's good for babies to wake up at night, it reduces the risk of SIDS.
Atticus is still waking up 3+ times a night. I'm tired in the morning, but I love the nighttime feedings.
I just received this one:
Give your baby a RestFull™ night.
Enfamil® RestFull™ is specially designed to help babies feel full longer and sleep better.
A natural way to help keep your baby feeling satisfied.
Designed to thicken gently in baby's tummy and digest slowly.
Your baby needs a proper amount of sleep to keep her healthy and happy. That's why we created Enfamil® RestFull™, the formula specially designed to naturally encourage a good night's sleep. So you both can rest better.
GROSS. Thicken in your baby's stomach?! Like, so they feel bloated all night? This seems so unnatural and unhealthy. Besides, it's good for babies to wake up at night, it reduces the risk of SIDS.
Atticus is still waking up 3+ times a night. I'm tired in the morning, but I love the nighttime feedings.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
The Podcast
Here's the actual podcast talked about below. Cait's comment is at 16:20 on the podcast titled "The Women Behind Santa."
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